What is The New Normal: Giving Her a Name She Can Not Run From

After receiving a diagnosed of colon cancer, I was told, by fellow cancer survivors, that this experience will change more than just your physical self. They told me that this will be the thing that you will remember on a regular basis. It will be your catalyst for change and your daily motivator. The idea of this thing will hide away in your mind like a stow-a-way on a large slave ship. This shoeless and earthly smelling intruder will seek control of your daily thoughts; however you must resist this urge at all cost. For this transgendered deity, has mastered the art of using his masculine traits saturated in a silent-feminine voice to accomplish his/her goal. She/he answers to no name, for if it is recognized by a name or any audible sound its commanding powers will dissipate.

As I ponder on this proclamation, I am burden with the thought that, my “normal” will never be the same because the bar of normalcy has been moved. The line in the sand that was once visible from the shore has been washed away.  It is like a terminal patient that has abandoned the hope of being “pain free” and now flirts with the wish of not experiencing pain every day. The “pain free” condition is not one that is within his reach anymore instead, the “low hanging fruit” of being “painless” instead of “pain free” is now his new norm. This bi-gendered being has a way of changing an individual’s norms by mentally, physically and emotionally changing who they are. It seeks to replace your healthy cells with damaged ones.

 As my calendar adds more days to this diagnosis, my old self continues to become more and more unrecognizable to me. I have witnessed yesterday’s desires being insignificant and offering little solace for me. I continue to search daily for that stow-a-way knowing that if his identify is revealed, I will become the victor and then I will declare and claim my body as my own property. I must cling to the idea that tests, blood work are not the sum of my body parts; they will not define me. I have tasted the sweet nectar of life and desire more. This has forced me to declare war against any foreign invader that seeks to control my temple. I have found this journey hiding under years of emotional leaves and I will not turn back. I will stand toe to toe and look this transgendered goddess in the eyes and shout her name “Cancer"!!

Allie Gets Baptized and Converts... Congratulations

I have often heard older folk say “the Lord works in mysterious ways,” and as I continue to live, I am finding more and more truth in this statement. I have also learned that his plan is often times more perfect than any plan we could ever scheme on our own. This epiphany came to me a few months ago after I was diagnosed as having stage IV colon cancer.  It was also during this time I continue to invite a friend of mine to church. This was a friend I knew who had no intentions of ever coming to a Seven Day Adventist church, however I thought it was worth giving it a try. I guess part of me invited her as a way of testing God’s strength. She has been a really good friend to me during my sickness. She was among the many friends that would come and visit and pray for me while I was in the hospital, so I felt it only natural to invite her to church.

 Check here to Watch video of Allison being baptized

                My friend was very spiritual on the outside and in many of our conversations she would mention going to church on Sunday. She, like most of us in the world, had her share of vices and was actively seeking rescue from these transgressions. But she was in a place and I don’t think she was happy, and I felt that if she could be exposed to an active church, it will help facilitate her spiritual growth. So each week, I continued to invite her to church and each week she would give me an excuse why she couldn’t go. I expected these excuses, heck; I had given some of the same ones to my mother and other family members when they invited me to church years ago.
                             

                I have always saw little things in my spiritual walk, however at they time did not mean much to me, but as the days progressed, these little meetings became amplified in my life. For example, I remember about six months ago I decided to visit a friend at work. She had a light patient load that day so we had plenty time to just sit down and just talk about our dreams and our aspirations. Things at that time were going pretty good for me, I had a new job and I was starting to see my future as something other than just a mirage. It was in this meeting that I famously said “everyone I know has a cause they are very passionate about, something that gets them out of bed in the mornings. They have that one thing that they’re known for, something that has changed their life and now they have made a commitment to change others. I wish I had such a cause”. To my surprise, God had heard my wish.

                The next week I was scheduled for doctor’s appointment. It was a follow-up appointment that my primary physician had made for me after I had demanded that she do so. To make a long story short, I was got a diagnosis of colon cancer. What I could not see at that point, was that He was answering my wish, it was in the midst of all my trials and tribulations that I finally realized that God had given me cause. He had given me something that I can fight for, something that I can be strong about and something that I can help other people with; he had given me the gift of stage IV colon cancer. So after finding out what my cause was I was prepared to go out and conquer the world, unfortunately God had other plans for me and one of those plans included being admitted to hospital for two major surgeries.

                After I had been discharged from the hospital, my friend Allison gave me a call to tell me how she had been praying for me and that she was glad that I was doing better. Then she gave me some startling news and said “I am getting baptized at the end of November.” This revelation took me by a total surprise. I asked her, “Allison, you are really getting baptized? Where”, I said in a sarcastic manner. This is when she went on to tell me that while I had been sick in the hospital, she had been attending First Seven Day Adventist Church and now she had decided to make a conversion. It was at this point that I realized that “there is a bigger picture that sometimes does not come into focus until the dust of life has settled down”.