Sunday, November 24, 2013

Bodhicitta (Compassion) in Meditation: The Enlightenment of a Friend


Today was a day that would be surrounded by uncertainties, obligations, misunderstandings, hope and adventure. It was on this day, that I decide to visit a Buddhist meditation ceremony. Actually, I did not know that I would be attending a ceremony, when I discovered this group; I thought it was going to be a class on meditation (with hint of Buddhism). More recently after visiting the Cancer Treatment Centers of America CTCA, I have become interested in the art of meditation. This infatuation is what motivated me to seek a local meditation group on the internet.  I am not a stranger to different religions and faiths and before I joined church 13 years ago, I made it a point to study as many religions as possible. I did not want to join something without knowing what else was available to me.  I have also had formal learning, such as a couple undergrad classes on Indian culture. This background, allowed me to enter this meeting today knowing that attending a Buddhist ceremony would not be scary nor would not be a threat to my own personal spirituality. I subscribe to the belief; that if you have “paper faith” that is at risk of dissipating if presented with new experiences, it would be a good idea to reassess your spirituality. I have a god that loves free choice and free thinkers.

This experience is worthy of a blog not because I attended this ceremony, it deserves mentioning because my friend, Tonia, agreed to meet me there. It was both our intentions to meet and learn more about meditation; we did not know that they would be conducting a Buddhist death ceremony today. This was a shock and I was lucky that we arrived in separate cars because if Tonia had driven she might have left me there looking for a ride home. Her frustration was evident when the instructor presented the list of prayers we were to recite. It was during this time that she turned toward me and mouthed the words “I am going to kill you”.

It was at this point that I felt guilty because I had not taken into account how much of a cultural shock this was going to be for her. This was a death ceremony for insects, pets, animals and love ones who had passed away. When this information was reveal, I was waiting for Tonia to grab her keys and head for the door. To my surprise, she stayed, took off her shoes and began to actively listen to what was being said. It was at this point that I realize that Tonia was open-minded. This is a characteristic that many patients have to adapt when faced with challenging diagnosis. For it is during these times, that many physicians are forced to present alternative plans of care for these patients. Today’s events reminded me of the interaction I had at CTCA, after meeting my naturopathic doctor Summer Baptist, ND,L.Ac. When she presented me with her plan, she was surprise that I was open minded enough to listen. She later told me that there are many patients who turn a deaf ear toward alternative treatment.

Meeting Dr. Baptist along and Tiffany, my Mind and Body therapist, was a life altering experience for me. It is because of these meetings, that I have begun to look at different life possibilities, including not living a life that is constrained by fears, regrets and lost opportunities. I am determined to seek a holistic approach to living. This has become my new goal and if I have friends and family who are not willing to travel his journey with me, then I will gladly wave at them as my mystical train leaves the station. I cannot tell you where this journey will lead me however I feel this is one I must take. I have lived many years bowing to societal norms however; we only have one existence so why not live for ourselves.

          What I found extremely interesting and moving, was the fact that most of the participants there, had lost family and friends because of the spiritual decisions they had made. This was a decision to follow their hearts, to become Buddhists, and many members of their family and friends could not accept their newfound happiness. Some of the participants even spoke of having to hide the fact they were Buddhist as well as concealing their spiritual commitments. During the ceremony, I witnessed one of the ladies getting emotional as she remembered the death of her mother, who had passed on earlier this year. She stated that when her mother died in June, she died without knowing that her daughter was a Buddhist. She felt that sharing this would have added an unneeded burden on her mother. I was moved by her love and compassion but could not help thinking of the lack of closure she was now burden with.

          Tonight as I reminisce over today’s events and what lesson(s) I might have learned, I arrive at the conclusion that freedom is not free for everyone and there are still people out there who cannot express their inner passions. I am thankful tonight that I live in an environment where I can express myself openly. I take pride in the fact that I am at a place in my existence, where I do not solicit the approval of others. Tonight I am thankful that I have friends like Tonia, who are willing to step out of their comfort zones to support a friend. I know that some of my other friends might declare “I will support you, but I will not visit a Buddhist ceremony”. Today’s lesson was “Sometimes being there means, you actually have to BE THERE..”

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